I’m feeling VERY smart with myself for transitioning to this here blog…i’m like finally a place where i can say whatever the fuck i want to say…i’m not telling anyone in my life about this blog…BEEN THERE done that and what happened was…people in my life: family, lovers, ex lovers and friends started to use the information on my blog in ways that i did not feel were appropriate…made me feel like i couldn’t say where i wanted to..i thought that i would loose my mind for not having an outlet. My ex used the information on my blog not discussing the blog with me or what i was saying in the blog to say that i was “empty/carnivorious and monstrous”, criminal..after they put two and two together.

So yeah..took that risk, and have decided it na worth it..so if you are in my life or think you know me or you snuck/hacked into my email address/history pages or visited websites pages and found this blog…i’ll pretend you didn’t, if i do not wish to talk to you about what is on this blog that i do not wish to. Maybe i do not trust you, I aint comfortable enought with you or I just don’t feel like it and i think that it would be against my better judgement to do so.

Maybe i would feel like some reciprocration is in order so i don’t wind up feeling like your self..smell, voive is all over my very intimate thoughts and you aint got nothing but your wonderful active listening skills to offer and i’m feeling like later on you can’t even properly reference the content of this blog to guide your thoughts/words/actions where I am concerned. Maybe i’m feeling like all that is way too much for me to be asking from you and vice versa so tresspass at your own risk..there will be no mutherfucking patient guiding…read or don’t, understand or don’t.

This here blog is not about trying to communicate with anyone but myself..its kind of like a transcription of the self dialogue and voices that are constantly running through my head and making me feel like i’m going absolutely certifiably insane as in coookuuu (how do you spell that?) neways i’m not looking for friends that are understanding, i’m not looking for advice..all i’m looking for is a place for me to vomit freely al my words and then get a chance to look at my puke and shit and other juices and matter coming from the recesses of my conscious so that i can look at it and maybe..think more so that I and I alone can get clearer on just how mutherfucking insane I am. Period and fullstop.

I am not looking to start a mutherfucking revolution, i do not want any mutherfucking awards or unsolicited advice..feel free to comment but don’t expect immediate and meaningfull engagement. Please expect me to mostl;y say whatever the fuck i’m thinking when i feel like it and how i fucking feel like it on whatever mutherfucking angle that i choose to. I aint trying to make no friends i’m just trying to keep it real and to keep my self from jumping off a mutherfucking cliff…thats it. no more..no less.

thanks for understanding.