I’m moving AGAIN. In the last couple of years ever since i left the community that i had chosen to call home i have moved EVERY SINGLE YEAR. In 2006 alone i moved 3 times (not counting the shelters, underground malls and friends counches that i crashed ), from downtown to the east end and then back to the downtown west, I moved from there to central downtown gon gon and now i am moving to central north downtown.
I don’t want to jinx it by announcing to the world but i am very very happy, there is nothing i crave more that stability, that is independently mine, i mean i am all for and will actively start to seek and create supportive networks of loved ones and friends because i am standing on my own two feet in a way that MOST importantly gives me a grounded confidence that is centred primarliy on myself. IT is important. My husband will not know where i am moving to and i most especially like it like that, my numbers are changing and its time.
I have to give testimony because the way that things have aligned themselves for me in the last couple of week with my schooling, my job and now my housing after years of struggling with the high level; of insecurity and instability, fear and anxiety out of not having, it all apears to be setting into place and i have only the divine and the universe and jehovah’s abundant mercies to thank and praise for me, for the clarity and the focus and the grace that i have been afforded.
The decision to share a home with most of my lovers ha meant that my housing in the event of any problem AT ALL has always seemed threatened diue to my financial situation and also i have been unable to shake the baggage of being a burden so that this is the answer, i am certain now that for the longest while now and near forseable future i will not be in need of housing or support in terms of housing for a long time to come. That is something worth celebrating.
As i have started to do this move i have encountered all kinds of views in relation to my person as i discover what some people have actually thought about me all the while that i have known then, some in competition with me and others simply judfging me according to my failures and now that it looks like things are changing..i’m hearing…competitive resentment? fear? misunderstanding but in a way that does not startle me BECAUSE i already knew, it was just a matter of time. i already knoew that i was supposed to fail so that when i do “succeed” i rub your nose in it knowing that it will brn more.
anyways i shouls go back to moving, been hinking about cultural and linguistic imperialism and will hopely write out my thoughts on that more so that might explain my use of pidgin, english, igbo and other combos and variations..
Speaking of combo’s i had a McDonald Angus Burger , it was late we wanted burgers so we went to the drive thru…goodness, it SUCKS, with huge capital, i’m like is it that mcdonalds does not know how to cook beef that they are having such difficulty? the thing was hard, in very bad and indigestible way and gave me heartburn, just didn’t sit right period.
