fat naked women: it’s a good thing :)

picfrom just jared. Don;t know where i’ve been this was taken last year, dont watch tv but i’m totally looking to watch this. HOLLA!!

but wait: am i the only one or does monique looks smaller and BETTER than everyone else. I think it would have been better with indv. shot where the women could at least get one or two good shots of themselves individually in a pose that worked for them instead of looking like frightened deer in front of headlights. I can understand though: what with fat bodies constructed as diseased, nasty and to be hidden, i can understand the courage and amount of work it might have taken to get naked and try and look sexy for the camera. I like the rolls everywhere, i like the shape. I don’t like the set up/props or whatever you gotta change the landscape entirely you can’t use a setting that typically works for skinny girls for fat girls, they would have looked better if they appared to be in action, in motion (like she tiger there) i like seeing other bodie that look like mine. iTs a good thing.

According to Shuler Deardra of Afrocentrc News “Mo’Nique’s F.A.T. Chance is about loving one another and building up each other’s confidence and saying it’s OK to be me even if I am fat. There is a difference between being obese and fat and there is a difference in being healthy and unhealthy. Some people say how can you encourage women to be fat? I am not encouraging anyone to be fat but I am saying love the body you are in” explained the charming comedienne who began her career on a dare from her brother.

wait for it: the requirements ARE: “The eligibility requirements are: contestant must be 21 years or older, size 14 and upwards, a citizen of the United States, and be in excellent physical and mental health.” I’m not hating on monique cos i think she is taking a step forward no a huge ass mofo leap in the right direction (there is a niche market for BBW women in porn by the way, I know, I modelled for one a couple of years ago) But why the whole excellent health thing without a deconstruction of what it means to have a ‘healthy body’: she lost me there. Guess no ‘disabled women are welcome to a fat chance so how can i say it’s a good thing then? ‘

butch 4 you…enjoy

If i EVER was butch i want to be do it right and look just like snoop with a little queen latifah from her UNITY days and lets not forget…DA Brat. maybe i’ll do a collage of my top 3 butch looks….just soooooo SEXY. mY fantasy: a woman no less than a size 16, complete with robust round bellyfor me to rub, in an agbada who is also packing complete with cap and the latest “italian” alligator skin shoes…YUM. For her, i swear to god i’d quit all my whoring ways…

on the critical ish side of things as i was looking at the pictures and loving what i was seeing, my appreciation for her look is mediated and filtered by my overall hiegtened sensitivity to the level of mysogyny that is downloaded and borrowed whole heartedly from patrichial and masculine culture. As i struggled with my ex husband over the limits and inflexibity of masculinity and what it meant/means to challenge it as i have been shown/watched one queer woman do with her partner, that the places where women who adopt masculinity need to do more to deconstruct it and attack it as they copy it and reinforce it is really important and unspoken to on the most part. Except of course by femmes… at least i wish they would do so more…..as more men question, heterosexuality and gender norms.performativity, i guess they’ll fit right in with the whole deconstruction of gender?

I don’t know, i’m speaking as one who adored and worshiped masculinity and its performance and have for many years and when i realized that i had swallowed the whole mysogynistic/power hungry and patriachal aspects of “butch/doing boi” (pointed out by my powerfully femme partner at the time) not to mention that from where i’m sitting it is harder for me to “do” femme and “look good” and challenge notions of beauty, disability, lookism, fatphobia, a person’s worth through they ways that i choose to deal with and interrogate and portay my own feminity that i’m working on finding a good fat happy femme place for myself and its difficult but i’m doing it to grow and to unearth and understand myself so that i can feel comfortable in my own skin.

Not to mention that i love being femme in general..maybe when i’m done i’ll switch over but in the mean time i like looking and fantasizing about masclunine performativity, gender play in general really turns me on.

guess thats why when it looked like the marriage had truly gone to hell in a hand basket: hubby came back promising to crossdress and gender play, i guess he thought that was my ultimate trump card. except it was too little too late. I can get gender play almost anywhere and i am fully aware of this HOWEVER, igbo, naija gender play….that’s a whole other story….that’s been real hard for me to come by but i guess i can take comfort in the fact that i have experienced it at least once in my life and it was definitely worth it